Smells Like It’s Time for a Spreadsheet | Funny Candle

For the detail-obsessed, coffee-fueled, color-coding legend who keeps the chaos running smoothly. Smells Like It’s Time for a Spreadsheet is the perfect desk companion for anyone whose therapy involves pivot tables and conditional formatting.

Hand-poured locally in the heart of Los Angeles, California, this clean-burning soy candle adds a touch of humor and calm to every workspace. Light it up during your 87th Zoom call, your fifth draft of the day, or that “urgent” email that could’ve been a spreadsheet.

The Details:
• Size: 12oz | Burn Time: 60+ hours
• Natural Soy Wax for a long, clean burn
• High-Quality Essential Oil Fragrance for rich, lasting scent
• Non-toxic & Cruelty-Free because you deserve better
• Hand-poured locally in Los Angeles, California

Perfect For:
• Coworkers, managers, or anyone who secretly loves data
• Funny office and corporate gifts
• Holiday swaps, work-from-home desks, and burnout survivors
• Pairing with caffeine, competence, and quiet resentment

The Details:
• Size: 12oz | Burn Time: 60+ hours
• Natural Soy Wax for a long, clean burn
• High-Quality Essential Oil Fragrance for rich, lasting scent
• Non-toxic & Cruelty-Free because you deserve better
• Hand-poured locally in Los Angeles, California

WHITE SAGE + LAVENDER

It’s summer in southern France, and Provence's lavender fields are blooming. Bees are buzzing, and the soothing scents of lavender and herbs are in the air. “French Lavender” is a powerful blend of spices, lavender, and aromatic woods. Sage, rosemary, and chamomile elevate the earthiness of lavender, while notes of sandalwood and cedar in the base complement the alluring clove, lavender, and cedarwood essential oils.

Top: Lavender
Middle: Camphor, Chamomile, Sage, Rosemary
Base: Sandalwood, Cedarwood

 

CHRISTMAS HEARTH:

It is a classic holiday scent that tells the story of a cozy holiday night spent sipping wine in front of the fireplace.  The essential oils combine orange spice notes from the kitchen, fir and pine notes from the Christmas tree and an earthy smokiness from the fireplace. It's Christmas Eve, in a bottle, any time.

This fragrance infuses natural essential oils, including orange, cinnamon, clove, vetiver, and pine.

 

Top: Orange Peel, Cinnamon, Ginger
Middle: Cypress, Clove
Base: Pine, Fir

 

FROSTED EVERGREEN:

Let the holiday festivities unfold with this enchanting blend of classic pine and fir balsam, elevated by the shimmering notes of refreshing mint and zesty lemon. As you breathe in the invigorating aroma, the gentle sweetness of snow-kissed vanilla wraps around you, creating a cozy atmosphere reminiscent of winter wonderlands and holiday gatherings. Light this candle to transform your space into a festive retreat, where the spirit of the season truly comes alive.

Top:  Lemon Zest, Red Fruits, Shimmering Mint
Middle: Glistening White Pine, Eucalyptus Leaf, Fir Balsam
Base: Snowkissed Vanilla Woods, Sparkling Musk

 

 

AUTUMN APPLE + AMBER

Beneath the summer sun's glory, you lie in the grass beside an apple tree. Suddenly, the fresh, fruity scent of ripe apples overcomes you—bringing you the delights of high summer, complete with a powerful sense of freedom and lightness. 

Top: Orange Peel, Cinnamon, Nutmeg
Middle: Apple
Base: Clove, Vanilla

 

VANILLA + CLOVE + NUTMEG

This exquisite fragrance opens with a spicy medley of allspice, clove, and nutmeg, creating a sense of coziness and warmth. The heart notes reveal a delicate tea rose and coconut blend as the scent unfolds, adding a subtle floral sweetness and a creamy, tropical twist. The base notes of lactonic, vanilla, and white musk provide a soft, comforting finish that lingers beautifully on the skin. Cinnamon Vanilla is a scent that embodies comfort and elegance, perfect for those who love a harmonious blend of spice, floral, and creamy notes.

 

Top:   All Spice, Clove, Nutmeg
Middle:   Tea Rose, Coconut
Base: Lactonic, Vanilla, White Musk

CLEAN COTTON

Experience the refreshing scent of Clean Cotton, with bright ozonic notes, orange, lemon, and marine accents that evoke clean laundry on a breezy day. A soft floral heart of lily, ylang-ylang, tuberose, and rose adds elegance, while a warm base of white wood, vanilla, and powdery notes wraps you in comforting serenity. Clean Cotton is perfect for those who love fresh, floral, and woody scents, capturing purity and tranquility."

Top:  Ozonic, Orange, Lemon, Marine, Aldehydic-like Clean Laundry hanging in the Fresh Breezes
Middle:   Lily, Ylang, Tuberose, Rose, Touch Lavender, Green
Base: White Wood, Vanilla, Powdery

 

ORANGE + COCONUT + MUSK

Orange coconut musk opens with juicy orange, melon, and green notes, awakening the senses with vibrant freshness. A heart of mango, coconut, and jasmine brings a tropical, indulgent touch, while amber, musk, and sandalwood add warmth and depth. This fragrance radiates energy and sophistication, ideal for lovers of zesty, tropical, and warm blends.

 

Top: Orange, Melon, Green
Middle: Mango, Coconut, Jasmine
Base: Amber, Musk, Sandalwood

 

SEA SALT + ORCHID

You are lying on the beach. Waves crash in the background while the soft, warm breeze brushes against your skin. White curtains dance in the wind. The experience is serene. You smell flowers and a restorative summer freshness, not unlike a wellness temple. “Sea Salt & Orchid” is an elegant blend of floral notes and salty highlights. Soothing hints of jasmine and lily of the valley come to life alongside classic aromas of wood and tonka bean.

Top: Sea Salt, Ozone
Middle: Jasmine, Lily of the Valley, Green Leaves
Base: Wood, Tonka Bean

 

COCONUT + CARDAMON + CREAM

A decadent fragrance, Coconut, Cardamom, and Cream begins with exotic curry and coconut notes, evoking sun-drenched lands. The heart blends creamy vanilla coconut, warm spices, and cardamom, adding a refined touch. A sweet, creamy base with musky and powdery undertones wraps up this gourmand and spicy fragrance, creating the cozy essence of a gourmet dessert.

Top: Curry, Coconut
Middle: Vanilla, Spices, Pepper, Cardamom
Base: Sweet, Cream, Musky, Powdery

 

SEA SALT + EUCALYPTUS + SANDALWOOD

This dark, seductive, mysterious fragrance is as intense and insatiable as its namesake. The sweet yet salty accords honor the ocean’s healing power, uniting with the amber and vanilla base to create a unique and magical fragrance.

Top: Citrus, Sea Salt, Ozone
Middle: Plum, Cardamom, Eucalyptus
Base: Amber, Dark Musk